Last Monday, I was asked to celebrate the funeral of the wife (Kate McShea) of the President (George McShea) of the Apostleship of the Sea – United States of America. I have served on this board as the Cruise Ship Priest Representative since 2018. The funeral was held at the Church of the Resurrection of our Lord, Kate’s baptismal church, and the church where George and Kate were married in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. George and Kate’s children and grandchildren were present as well. I met numerous brothers and sisters and longtime friends of the family. George and Kate had lost an unmarried daughter, Liz, two years ago from cancer. Kate had died after years of battling kidney disease.
As a priest, I am familiar with the funeral liturgy, its nuances, its focused readings and prayers, and the unique features like the sprinkling of holy water, the spreading of the funeral pall, and the commendation with incense near the end of the Mass. I am constantly reminded that families are not nearly as familiar and are often unaware of these unique features and their meaning.
I have known George since I joined AOS-USA in 2012 and, once elected to the board, I got to know him much more closely since 2018. I remembered praying for Kate and him while their daughter Liz was dying from cancer and then dealing with Kate’s difficulties with her kidney disease.
Seeing George surrounded by his extended family and friends, and observing him in his native town and environment, was like encountering him in a completely new way. He and Kate were truly the patriarch and matriarch of this extensive family and obviously well-loved. I have always known George’s organization skills. He navigated us through the pandemic when our central ministry, priests on cruise ships, was imperiled. Seeing him in his traditional family role was very moving and reminds me that as a church community we often only see one or two dimensions of complex personalities.
Weddings and funerals, which we are blessed to celebrate in both of our churches, are an evangelization opportunity not only for visitors but for ourselves. When we think we know someone well, these unique events let us see more clearly and perhaps, love more fully. As we gathered for lunch after the funeral, I received nice compliments from his family, particularly about the intimate way I preach. They also saw a dimension of my personality that would have gone unnoticed if I weren’t a friend and professional colleague of George’s.
As the Easter season approaches with its unique liturgies and the gathering of extended family and friends, we have an opportunity not simply to admire our beautiful church buildings, but also to experience a community where all are welcomed as children of God.
